Insomnia
by Thisissecret
Summary: A few weeks have passed since Justin moved in with Brian after the bashing and he develops insomnia so intense it begins to effect his recovery. Brian notices the changes in Justin and takes it upon himself to help Justin sleep again. B/J


Summery:A few weeks have passed since Justin moved in with Brian after the bashing and he develops insomnia so intense it begins to effect his recovery. Brian notices the changes in Justin and takes it upon himself to help Justin sleep again. B/J

Time-line: Sometime in the beginning of season 2, though the timing may be slightly twisted (Brian is back in Pittsburgh, but not long has passed since the attack).

Genre: Hurt/comfort, Romance

Warnings: Swearing, fluff spoilers for parts of S2 and slash (duh)

Rating: T

Pairing: Brian/Justin

_Disclaimer: not mine... (grumble)_

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_Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

Large eyes stared almost unseeingly at the small clock, awaiting the inevitable change. Any moment now... there!

2:00.

_And so the night reaches its next hour_, Justin noted dully. The loft was silent, save the ticking of the clock and Brian's soft snores. The lights were out and the sky was dark, blessing the citizens Pittsburgh with a chance to sleep (or go out clubbing, but that wasn't really the point).

Justin had tried putting of going to bed, but when Brian had suggested they have an "early night", how was he supposed to resist? He'd been thankful that Brian hadn't been going out so often recently, seeing as how he was unable to tag along, though it wasn't without a sting of guilt every time he'd say no to Michael's calls for the soul reason of staying in with him.

But now, three hours after Brian's seductive words and gentle caresses, he was still wide awake, feeling strangely cold despite the suffocating blankets. He had briefly considered getting up to have a shower, but thought the better of it. Chances were that the sound of running water would wake Brian and he didn't want him to have anything else to feel concerned about.

He glanced at the clock by the bedside table.

_2:02. _

The adolescent sighed, shifting his weight slightly. It had gotten to the point that he would come up with mental games just to pass the time, like counting the floorboards or planning out what he was going to do the next day. However, this only made it more difficult to drift off. It wasn't that he hadn't had _any _rest since this begun almost two weeks ago. A couple of times a night, he'd drift off into a state of semi-consciousness, were he wasn't really awake, but was still aware of everything going on around him.

He never felt rested anymore and it was beginning to show. He often lost control of his hand, resulting in many more spilled drinks and awkward fumbles when getting dressed then necessary. But it wasn't only his injury that was becoming more prominent. Even when he favored his other hand, he had a tendency to drop things. Justin was also sure he was loosing some weight and his skin was somewhat paler than usual. He was actually surprised no one had mentioned anything.

He shifted his weight again, the tangle of sheets around his legs making him feel uncomfortable. He dared another glance at the clock.

_2:05._

He cursed. This was going to be another long night.

Justin jolted upright, his senses on high alert as he squinted through the darkness in an attempt to survey the room, but couldn't find the source of the noise that had broken his semi-slumber. It was probably just a car speeding by outside. The teen stilled for a moment, laying back down and letting his muscles relax somewhat. Dreading the outcome, he forced himself to check the time.

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_2:38_

He grit his teeth in frustration, resisting the urge to scream as an unpleasant throb began to form between his temples. Giving up on trying to get any more sleep, he gently slid out from under the covers, careful not to wake Brian, who had now flipped over on his belly.

Justin lowered his feet to the floor, wincing as the cold surface made contact with his bare feet. He briefly considered crawling back into bed, but the thought of spending the rest of the night tossing and turning was enough to spur him on.

He felt uncomfortably exposed, which was strange, considering that no one was watching him and he'd never minded Brian seeing him disrobed, but he still made a grab for the sweatpants that lay sprawled across the floor and put them on, thankful for the gentle warmth they provided.

He padded across the loft, not stopping until he reached the table where his sketchbook lay. A twinge of sadness made itself known as he noted the thin layer of dust across the surface. Brian had seen the many longing looks Justin would cast at it and had gently suggested that he tidy it away, but he had refused. Seeing it out would motivate him to try again until he mastered his hand completely... At least that's what he hoped, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to open it for a long time. Until now.

It looked inviting, sitting there on the top of the table, gently illuminated by the streetlights shining through the window.

Hesitantly, as if approaching a scared animal, Justin reached out for the book, picking it up into a shaky grasp. Swiping up the pencil next to it, he curled up on the couch with the sketchbook balanced against his knees. His eyes raked over the blank paper for a moment before he slowly lowered the tip of the pencil to the page, tracing it over thin air for a moment before he finally let it make contact and he set to work.

Barely a minute had passed before an uncontrollable twitch shook his hand, making him streak the page with a thick, dark line and send the pencil flying across the room. Justin winced at the load clattering as it made contact with the floor. _Damn._

He held his breath, hoping that against the odds, Brian remained asleep.

"'ustin, 'the fuck are you doin'?"

No such luck. "Uh... sorry, I thought I heard something outside. Go back to sleep," Justin murmured into the darkness. His voice was so soft that he wasn't sure if the other had heard him.

"Come back to bed," Brian purred. Justin hesitated for a moment, before giving up and dropping the book back into its place and tiptoeing back to his place in Brian's arms.

The feeling of Justin's sweatpants rubbing against his bare legs didn't go unnoticed to Brian, but he remained silent, the rhythmic sound of the youngsters breaths quickly sending him off to sleep.

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_Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

It was as if someone had hooked the clock to a speaker. A very _powerful _speaker. Justin could almost sense the vibrations of the obnoxiously loud clock ticking in time with his pounding head. It was three-thirty five. Three-thirty-fucking-five and he was going insane. The fatigue and frustration was burning beneath his skin, making his fingers twitch and his toes curl and he just wanted to tear his hair out and scream until his throat went raw.

He was unable to leave the bed now, as Brian was literally tangled up in him. As soon as he tried to move, Brian would wake up. All he could do was lay there and endure.

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At around five o'clock, Brian relinquished his hold on Justin's waist and he was able to slip out of his grasp. A gentle sheen from the sun had found its way through the window, brightening the loft, though it would probably be a long time until Brian opened his eyes. With this in mind, Justin began to pick up the clothes from the floor and dropped them into the washing basket. When he had done this, he moved on to the rest of the house, tidying up everything that he deemed out of place.

Once the entire loft was tidy, he got himself dressed, silently hoping Brian wouldn't notice that he had borrowed one of his old t-shirts. If he made a comment, Justin could always say that all of his were dirty or something. Deciding that the loft was tidy enough, he walked over to the kitchen, ready to start on breakfast.

Now, were to start... ah, turning the cooker on. Then he needed the frying pan and the eggs, a little ham, some spices...

Everything was going fine, until he reached for the salt and lost control of his hand. His whole arm jerked harshly, sending several bottles from the spice wrack to their deaths against the floor. The crash that followed was enough to wake the dead.

"Justin? Are you okay?"

… and Brian. Alarm was evident in his voice as he sprung out of bed, ready to save Justin from whatever mess he'd got himself into.

"I'm okay!" he called across the loft, hoping that this would be enough to stop the older brunet before he came rushing in and sliced his feet up on the thousands of shards littering the floor. "I just knocked the spices. They broke. I'm sorry." The last part was spoken softly, with an undertone of frustration. Although he had grown used to knocking things over, it was never nice to have his inability to control his own body rubbed in his face.

He reached for the dustpan and brush and started to sweep it up, but was stopped when his hand gave yet another jolt, sending all the glass back across the floor.

"Fuck!" he swore loudly, his irritation intensified by his headache.

"Here, let me help you with that."

Justin startled at the sound of Brian's voice and looked up to find him towering over him. Reluctantly, he made a move to get up, but was overcome by a heavy dizzy spell. He stumbled, barely registering the surprised look that shot across Brian's face before feeling a combination of strong arms catching him and a sharp pain at the soles his feet. He'd trod on the glass.

He allowed Brian to lift him away from the glassy floor, partly because he didn't want the shards to go any deeper and partly because he wasn't sure if his legs would support him at the moment. Feeling much like a kitten that had fallen into a pool trying to catch a fish and was now being saved by its owner, he was lowered onto the couch. Much like that cat would begin to lick its wounds at this point, he peeled of his bloodstained socks to asses the damage, but was stopped by a strong hand.

"Leave it. I'll fix it."

It was probably a good idea, considering the state his hand was in at the moment. Mind you, it wasn't just his hand... His mind had also drifted off elsewhere and he barely felt Brian tending to his feet until a light slap on the leg.

"There, all done," the brunet informed him. Justin nodded absently, just sitting there and staring out into space. Why was it that at night, he was wide awake, but exhausted during the day? He wasn't sure how long he was zoned out, but the next thing he knew, he was being addressed by Brian.

"Why didn't you tell me your arm was getting worse?" Although the words sounded angry, Justin could hear something else bleed into the words, fear perhaps. Justin worried his bottom lip with his teeth for a moment, carefully considering his reply.

"I didn't want you to worry," he said at last, his eyes downcast.

"Justin, you _need _to tell me, or your mom, or _someone _if you're not feeling right!" Justin observed as Brian's fists clenched in frustration and he suddenly felt guilty again. Brian had been there for him after the attack, out of guilt or concern he wasn't sure, but he had been _there, _helping him get control over his life again.

"I've just been a bit under the weather, is all," Justin sighed. "It must be that effecting my concentration, nothing big."

Brian eyed him suspiciously for a moment, before giving a sigh. "Fine. We need to go and buy some more spices later. Want to come?"

"What, now?"

"Yes, now. We're going to need spices in the near future. Probably tonight, your _mom_ invited herself over for dinner."

"Oh.. but what about the mess?" Justin asked, glancing in the direction of the kitchen. Brian rose a quizzical eyebrow at him. "I've already taken care of that," he said slowly, observing Justin's reaction. He tried to not look surprised, but his eyes widened a fraction as he realised that Brian must have taken care of that while he was zoned out. "Oh yeah..."

As they gathered what they needed and got ready to leave, Justin limped over to the door and glanced up at the clock only to find that he had failed to notice that it was now. 12:30. He wasn't sure how, but he had lost several hours of the day.

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.

_They were staring at him._

This hadn't bothered him in quite sometime, but now, weary with exhaustion and surrounded by unknown people in the Big Q, he could feel there orbs burn at his skin, filling him with a slow, suffocating panic...

"Justin!" He felt a hand on his shoulder and instantly snapped round, a startled yelp escaping his lips and he just barely manged to regain his footing, narrowly escaping a head-on collision with a mountain of toilet paper. Panting wildly, he glanced up, only to find a very startled Michael staring back at him, hands held up in surrender. The teen instantly felt his cheeks heat up, both at his own reaction and to having the attention of virtually everyone in the store.

The seconds ticked by. Neither Justin nor Michael said anything and the people watching slowly got back to what they were doing, though continued to cast curious glances in their direction.

He didn't have to turn around to know that Brian was staring at him, he could feel his eyes burning at the back of his neck. Justin decided to ignore him for the time being, instead shifting his attention to the dark haired, puppy eyed man before him. "Michael, you're back!" he exclaimed, pretending that his previous outburst had never happened. "And you're wearing your work clothes! Did you get bored of the life as a doctors wife?" A (what he hoped was) teasing smile tugged at his lips as the teen attempted to look teasing.

To his surprise, Michael's expression shifted into one of concern, something he hardly _ever _showed to _Justin _of all people. "Justin," the man said slowly, much like Brian had this morning, "I've been back for almost a week. I _spoke _to you last Tuesday."

Justin felt his heart stop in his chest. Opening his mouth to reply, he realised he had nothing to say and closed it again. He had no memory of seeing Michael since a quick visit at the hospital and even then it had only been to comfort Brian, but seeing his expression, he knew this wasn't a joke.

Thinking back, he realised that he had a few blank spots, where he must of either zoned out or simply forgotten everything that had happened. He didn't need a doctor to tell him why. The lack of sleep had already effected his health, appetite and coordination, why not his mind as well?

Again, he felt a hand on his shoulder, but this time, he didn't freak, easily recognizing Brian's touch. He said something to Michael, Justin didn't catch what, and was led to the car. Brian slammed the door shut and jamming the key so hard into its place that the teen was surprised it didn't snap in half. Brian seemed to collect himself, breathing heavily for a moment before starting the car.

"Where are we going?" Justin asked weakly.

"The hospital," Brian snapped. "I don't care what you say about being under the weather, somethings obviously messed up with your head! Amnesia, dizziness, panic attacks–"

"No!" Justin said loudly. "No, it's nothing serious! I know whats wrong, we don't need to go back to the hospital!" Oh god, he really didn't need this...

Brian's fists tightened around the steering wheel. "You _know _whats wrong?" His voice was strained.

"It's not so bad," Justin tried. "I can handle it. Now, we need to go and get the spices–"

"Not so bad?" Brian was yelling now. "Fuck, you look like hell! I thought you were just recovering from Hobbs, but then it got worse! I was going to try talking to you about it, but then you almost passed out on me this morning and cut you fucking feet open! Not only that, but you'd left the cooker on! It's a fucking miracle the loft is still there!"

_Oh. _That's were he'd lost all those hours. He must have zoned out when cooking... "Calm down–"

"No! I won't fucking calm down until you tell me what's wrong! If you don't, I'll take you back to the hospital!" his arms were trembling and for a split second, Justin thought he might crash the car.

"I-it's nothing extreme," Justin murmured, cursing his voice at the light tremble. "I just... haven't been sleeping lately." He expected a laugh, a huff or a "that's it?" but was met with a long silence.

"How long has this been going on?" Brian asked, his limbs stilling and the rage in his voice beginning to subside. Justin thought for a moment, his tongue trailing over the corner of his lip.

"I haven't had a full nights sleep since, uh..." he trailed of, both knowing to what he was referring to. "y'know, nightmares and all... but maybe a week and a half, two weeks ago I just couldn't get to sleep at all. I'm not sure why... I just feel _everything _that is going on around me, like I'm waiting for _it _to happen again."

Brian exhaled slowly, fingers drumming against the steering wheel. He seemed to think something over for a moment, before coming to a conclusion. "Here's what we'll do. We'll order take-out for your mom tonight and then I'll see if I can help you with this. If you still haven't had any sleep in a night or so, we'll need to contact a doctor and get you some meds."

Justin nodded, accepting Brian's words and enjoying the feeling of relief they brought.

.

.

Strong fingers caressed Justin's shoulders in circular motions, drawing an uncharacteristic purr from his throat. Wet strands of blond hair hung heavily from his head, his fringe now so long it almost obscured his view. A deep chuckle could be heard and the fingers reached lower, working at the center of his back whilst occasionally finding their way to playfully tickle at his sides or dip down a bit lower down then necessary.

"'s is nice," Justin slurred lazily. "Though 's not really doin' the job."

"Shut up. Talking will keep you awake," Brian instructed. He had been massaging him for almost one and a half hours and although Justin felt more relaxed then he had in ages, the frustration no longer burning in his limbs, though he had yet to fall asleep.

"Maybe you should give up for now," Justin suggested halfheartedly, feeling a little guilty for keeping his... what were they exactly? Something between fuck-buddy and boyfriend, awake at this hour.

"No. Shut up." A big slab of scented oil was playfully poured over his left thigh. Justin huffed, but complied, closing his mouth...

"You should be a professional masseur."

… for about five minutes.

"As much as I usually enjoy you complimenting my bodily handling skills, you need to shut the fuck up so you can fall asleep!" Brian punctuated the sentence with an extra firm circle over his neck.

Justin reluctantly did as he was told, closing his eyes and letting himself get absorbed in the feeling of the others skin rub against his. Even if he never did sleep again, he wouldn't really have anything against laying there for all of eternity.

Eventually, Brian's fingers slowed, their movements becoming sluggish. Justin thought it was just him testing a new technique. That was, until the movements ceased completely and Justin felt the weight on his back double. Low snoring quickly followed. Brian had fallen asleep. On him.

Another night, much like the one previously followed, with Justin counting the ticks from across the loft.

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.

He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. Justin was very tempted to wake Brian, if only to get the feeling back in his legs. He was bored, his head hurt like crazy and he felt extremely frustrated. Another thing that was bothering him was the intense smell of rose and lavender oil. At first, he had found it relaxing but now it was just getting on his nerves, the scent tickling and itching at his nostrils in the most unpleasant of ways.

Finally, after what felt like hours, he felt the man on top of him stir, muttering something into the back of his neck. Brian's hot breath made something else stir deep inside his stomach, making him curse this position for the twentieth time that evening.

He gave in to the urge and nudged the sleeping brunet with his elbow. Brian awoke almost instantly.

"'ustin?" he slurred.

"I uh.. can't feel my legs." The words had barely left his mouth when he felt the older man push himself off his back and roll to his side. Brian didn't need to ask how long he'd been asleep, the sun was shining through the windows and you could here the traffic beginning to pick up outside. They lay in silence for a while, Justin trying to get close to the brunet without making him feel awkward.

"So..." Brian began. "Did you get any sleep?" Justin just shook his head, resisting the urge to bury it in the sea of sheets, blankets and dried up massage oil. None of them said anything, just laying there deep in thought. Finally, Justin had enough of the smell of rose and lavender and got up.

"Shower," he explained simply, leaving a mulling Brian behind.

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.

Another day of nothing passed, consisting mainly of Justin lunging on the couch because he was to tired to do anything else and Brian printing out sleep remedies on the internet.

It was getting very extreme. Brian had only been feeding him bananas and warm milk all day ("anti oxidants and classic remedies", he'd insisted) and, with the threat of withholding sex if he didn't comply (Justin didn't quite believe him, but if he chanced it, Brian would just go elsewhere to get some), Justin had gone along with his ideas. Soft piano notes had been streaming from the speakers constantly and he'd even gone so far that he'd sprayed the entire house with lavender-scented room spray, a scent which he'd previously only mentioned in the same sentence as "girls", "cooties" and "gross" before.

It was almost worse to see Brian try so hard to get him to sleep then it was to stay awake, because with every futile attempt came failure. Justin had insisted that they could just go to the doctors and get some prescribed sleep medicine, but Brian had wanted to do this in his own way. God knows why. He probably blamed himself, like after the bashing and therefore wanted to put him to sleep by himself. To be honest, Justin actually found the thought quit romantic, but he knew better then to voice that out load. Knowing Brian, any reaction he had would make insomnia the least of Justin's troubles.

At around five o'clock that evening, Brian decided to give the computer a break and went to sit next to Justin. The blonde was in his own world and barely noticed the other end of the couch sink down until he heard a load sigh from beside him.

"Any luck?" Justin asked, already knowing the answer.

"No. Fallen asleep yet?"

"No. You don't have to do this you know..." Justin muttered, massaging his temples lightly. Brian didn't reply, instead opting for pulling Justin against his chest, rubbing his neck lightly.

Justin relaxed into the embrace, lifting his healthy hand and tracing it lightly against the elders clothed chest. He twisted slightly under Brian's body, making it so that he was sitting with one knee on either side of Brian's stomach. His face inched down until his lips were level with the others tanned ear. "I know something that could make me really tired," he whispered in what he hoped was a seductive tone, letting his upper lip trace along the shell of Brian's ear.

Brian's head twisted, catching his lips in an instant and kissing him roughly. Justin gasped at the sudden attack, but couldn't help but smirk as he felt Brian's hands travel up his sides until they stopped at the hem of his shirt. Suddenly very warm, Justin helped Brian shrug out of his t-shirt, happy to have Brian claw away at his bare back. The tanned fingers continued to explore his body until they finally stopped at his chest, where he gave a sudden shove.

Justin, not expecting this, tumbled back, now finding himself beneath the muscular body. Brian broke the contact of their lips, instead letting them trail up his neck, all the way to the corner of his ear. He nibbled at it lightly, before he began to speak in a deep, husky voice. "Do you know what I'm going to do with you?"

"Ngh... No...tell me..." Excitement and lust pumped through his body, the exhaustion still there but easy enough to ignore, the sensation of Brian's mouth against his ear washing away the wearyness.

Justin could hear Brian lick his lips, briefly flicking his tongue at Justin's earlobe, before pulling away. "I am going to take you to bed and read you a bedtime story."

Justin felt his arousal die. "What?"

"Your getting all worked up," Brian said in his silky "I-know-better-then-you-because-you-are-just-a-child" voice. "You won't be able to sleep if your hearts beating so fast, now come along."

Before he could protest, Justin felt something yank hard at his (healthy) arm, forcing him to follow to wherever Brian was taking him. He was then pushed gently onto the bed, where he lay still, staring at Brian in bewilderment. But the madness hadn't ended yet.

"Strip." The command was short, but allowed no room for complaints. Justin blanked.

"What?"

"Take of your jeans. Leave the boxers on."

It was one of the most awkward things he'd ever have to endure, though he complied, quickly crawling under the blankets once it was over. Brian quickly followed, still clad in his ridiculously expensive clothing.

"What about you?" Justin muttered, tugging at the dark blue shirt to show what he meant. Brian cupped his fingers and pushed them away.

"I have a theory," Brian announced. "I believe that you are unable to sleep because you are forced to sleep next to the most desirable body known to any gay man. Because of this, your heartbeat is always really high, making it impossible for you to relax."

Justin stared at him for a moment. "Wow, egoistical much?"

"Hush, I shall now begin the story. Once upon a time, there was a little boy who lived in a castle. His name was Sunshine, because when he smiled..." And so followed the most crude, explicit gay rewrite of Rapunzel Justin had ever heard.

A few minutes into the story, Justin found that Brian's words seemed to blend together, making it difficult to understand what was being said. It didn't really matter though, as he instead found himself occupied with observing the others soothing face, mentally drawing lines between the perfect features.

Sure enough, after some time, Justin found himself closer to unconsciousness then he had been for a long while. Brian's words had turned into a constant murmur which might as well have been in Latin, he wouldn't know the difference at this point.

Sighing softly, he snuggled his head into the crook of Brian's bare neck (when had he taken his shirt of?) and breathed in his comforting scent. Justin let his eyes drop closed, letting the intoxicating smell of _Brian _fill his world.

Glancing down at the semi-sleeping boy, Brian felt his lips curve into a small smile. He began to hum a soft tune, hoping the vibrations would be enough to lull the blond into the first stage of sleep. It was the least he deserved after all he'd been through. Without thinking, Brian's hand found its way to Justin's head, gently ruffling about in the pale blond locks in soothing motions.

After fifteen minuted of humming and touching, he felt Justin's body grow heavier. A low noise, one which Brian couldn't quite identify, sounded through Justin's parted lips, followed by a soft snore. Then another. And another...

Brian's lips curved up into a triumphant smile. He'd done it. Careful not to disturb the sleeping teen, Brian gently kissed Justin's forehead. "Sweet dreams, Sunshine," he murmured, thankful that Justin wouldn't remember that particular action in the morning.

It wasn't long until Brian to had to succumb to nature and fell asleep as well, curled up protectively around Justin's body.

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_I know, corny ending... but i thought it was cute..._

_Please review, constructive criticism is always welcome^^_


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